Prompt #13 The Football Fields

There is a dirt and gravel parking lot behind a Walgreens in East Mesa. I imagine it stays empty six days a week. If you look at it from either Guadalupe Rd or Higley Rd, and if you have too little to occupy your mind at that particular moment, you might wonder why there is such a big lot behind such a small store and why that canal would possibly need so much available parking. The answer, while not readily apparent, is quite wonderful. Wonderful I say because someone someday took a look at the large hole on the far side of that lot, originally constructed and still utilized during the rainy season as a water retention area, and saw much more than a large hole. Some lovely person must have thought to themselves “what a waste of good, fairly level space”. Someone not nearly as self-centered as me saw an opportunity to do something great. Someone whose name I will probably never know saw a place for 6 junior size football fields.

The fields are not glamorous; there are no lights, no bleachers, no scoreboards, no permanent sanitary facilities or food court. There is not even a sign saying “So and So’s Memorial Football Fields”. What there is is a place for hundreds of kids between the ages of 6 and 12 to spend their 50 minute allocated time slot every Saturday achieving, or at least attempting to achieve, glory. The only real concessions to modern conveniences and civility at that hole in the desert are 4 handicapped parking spaces and a long concrete sidewalk that snakes its way down to the grass and dirt fields. During the monsoon season we typically miss a few games due to standing water and or very muddy conditions but typically the water remains in the low spots around the perimeter of the fields proper. These low lying areas are home to small riparian areas full of mature trees, bushes and reeds. They provide a great place for the siblings of the athletes to play and explore during what to them are surely boring games. The bushes also make a nice place for the players to take a quick pee or change their jerseys without the long climb back up to the porta-potties.

My son, his mother and I have spent most of our Saturday mornings for the past three years on those fields. Unlike regular football the seasons for these young ones continue one after another all year round. As long as we can provide $50 every three months and there are enough willing kids to make up teams the games will go on. We sweat our asses off there under our portable sunshades in the summer and shiver in our fold up chairs in the winter. There is just enough room between the fields to squeeze in 2 rows of chairs, one facing a field in either direction, and for the teams and excited parents to move up and down the sidelines following the action. A volunteer parent dutifully chalks out sidelines and end zones early every Saturday morning and the rest of us pitch in after the last game to clean up all the inevitable debris that accumulates when so many people gather in such a small space that has no room for trashcans. Every few months a photographer shows up with an 8ft step ladder that he climbs and catches “action” shots of the kids then comes back the following week with them on display trying to make a buck.

I hope that pioneer who created this oasis of family fun in the desert knows how many of us sincerely appreciate this place they created. I hope they are aware of the sheer joy my son and so many others feel on these fields. It is great to watch them at this age, mostly unknowing and unaware of the score, just having fun, living in the moment and playing their asses off. I hope that someday I’ll find out who is mostly responsible for creating this place, meet them and give them a hug and a thank you. Mostly I hope the housing market doesn’t rebound, making this spot profitable for development and filling it with tan stucco houses with orange tile roofs. If it does I hope I’ll meet the person mostly responsible for that to.

Peer Reviews 2-8-11

Alyssa Brown
Strengths:
Oh wow. I read the intro where you stated that you were writing from you and your sisters’ perspective but the first time through I didn’t get it. This time I did. Very cool now that I understand, the same day seen through two completely different perspectives. It was also thought provoking because it led me to pondering my own reactions to that day, and got me out of my own little world and mind for a while and into yours.

My humbly perceived weaknesses:
Your sentence structure, in my humble opinion, and transitions could be a little easier to read or flow a little better with some slight revision. They just seem a little choppy to me, like some of the sentences could be joined together instead of separated to read a little easier.



Jesus Corona
Strengths:
Great story about you and your mom’s car ride, I really enjoyed the content and the style. I particularly liked your use of different letter styles in #9 the use of bold and italics to separate the methods of communication was very clear and effective.

My humbly perceived weaknesses:
I can’t find a thing to pick on my man. Well done, in going to keep reading the textbook and maybe I’ll find something to bitch about next week :)


Lindsay Fraser
Strengths:
I think you did an excellent job last week. Your use of the particular songs corresponding to the incidents in "A Night to Remember" was very effective and entertaining. They helped convey a sense of mood and provided additional description to the story. "Keep Your Eyes on the Road" was a very moving piece and I’m sure a difficult piece to tackle. Thanks for the intro it worked well to begin the story and provide details that might have not worked as well if introduced in the story.

My humbly perceived weaknesses"
In #9 the intro paragraph, "A recent accident involving a close friend of the family just happened” sounds a bit redundant, I feel could possibly be revised to sound a little better.


Miranda Colony
Strengths:
"Monsanto vs. Choice" was very well written and definitely conveyed a lot of information in an organized and convincing manner. The use of your own personal experience in the intro paragraph was a great segway into the news story and eased the reader in to what is a very serious piece. "I don’t Care" was also very good. I know that song well and it seems very appropriate and descriptive of the situation. I liked the style of the piece as well, it was descriptive and easy to read and understand

My humbly perceived weaknesses:
" How is it not scary that such a necessity to daily living is such an ill educated subject, that we do not know as a general public there are only a few major companies that produce our foods, unless we shop at the source of local farms and farmers markets." This line from "Monsanto" was a little difficult to read. I feel that with a little revision it could be made to transition easier.

Writers prompt 11, A trip not yet taken

The heat. The agony. The hopelessness. No sensation of passing time. All is black, all is pain, all is suffering. I can’t see anything real, I seem not to have eyes but there is a constant stream of consciousness, a constantly changing picture of all that is evil, all that is wrong,  all images from my life.  There is a disconnected voice constantly drumming in my ears, though I no longer really have ears do I, nor a head to hang them on,  a haunting off tune voice, hysterically screaming but plodding, impossible to ignore, impossible not to hear, vibrating through my soul.  It seems to be reading a list of all my sins, all my regrets, all opportunities to change, all those opportunities missed or ignored. I’m not sure if it is a never-ending list or if it has just been repeating itself over, and over, and over, and over. A constant subconscious prodding of my senses, a constant soundtrack to supplement the pictures, those horrible remembered images reminding me where I came from and why I’m here.

How long have I been in this pit? How did I get here, is this dream or reality? It mustn’t be a dream, it has been going on forever it seems, no starting point and seemingly no ending. How can this be endured when surely it would propel any mortal being straight past reason and consciousness into insanity. Could any mortal mind endure this without shutting down into sweet oblivion to protect itself? That in itself answers itself. I am no longer a mortal mind. I am but a soul, a tortured soul. No means to transport myself forward or back, no means of control, no longer the sweet freedom of free will. Nothing but cold and burning, blackness and blinding painful light, all-consuming agony, fear, despair and complete hopelessness. Never again sleep, never again love, never again laughter or joy. The negative things I chose on earth, the dark and evil acts and feelings that I wallowed in are now mine to relive forever. Never again a chance at redemption. Never believed in hell, I do now.

Prompt #8 Slipknot, The Bleeding

"I remember when all the games began, remember every little lie and every last goodbye"
We had been together for several very intense months, but the thrill was fading.

"Promises you broke, words you choked on and I never walked away, still a mystery to me" 
Its a lot more difficult to break up with someone when you live with them, love them, and think they may be "the one". If only you do this or say that everything will be wonderful again. She is so beautiful, I love her.

"Well I'm so empty, I'm better off without you you're better off without me"
Why do I feel so alone, even when were together these days? What can I say, what can I do to fix this. We will change, we will make this work.

"Well your so ugly, I'm better off without you and you're better off alone"
Where did the mutual respect go, the sweet little kisses, playing with my hair and stroking my neck when I drove. When did my partner, my best friend become my enemy? Whats with all the fighting, and worse still the silence?

"The lying, the bleeding, the screaming, was tearing me apart. The hatred, decieving, disaster, its over now"
That's it I'm out. Keep the fuckin microwave and the DVD's. Who will pay your way now, support your habits. Take the bus you bitch. She's beautiful when she crys.

"Paint the mirror black to forget you, but I  still picture your face and the way you used to taste"
Still think of her constantly, what is she doing, who is she doing, is she ok, maybe I was wrong?

"Roses in the glass dead and wilted, to you this all means nothing, everything to you is nothing"
How could she replace me so quickly, how did things go so bad so fast. Did she ever really care or was she just using me? Does she care about anything, can she care about anything except her fix?

"Well you're so filthy, I'm better off without your, you're better off without me. Well I'm so ugly, I'm better off without you and you're better off alone"
Hate her and that fucked up house, miss her. Ill kill him, I love her

The lying, the bleeding, the screaming was tearing me apart. The hatred, deceiving, disaster its over now"
Why did I go back, I knew better, hate her, hate her. I hope shes OK, does she need me, miss her.

"Well as wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me"
I love you, I love you to baby. I'm sorry we will make it work this time, everything will be different this time, I know baby, I know, I love you....

"You're the darkest burning star, you're my perfect disease"
"The lying, the screaming, the bleeding is tearing me apart, the hatred, deceiving, disaster its over"
This time, for sure this time, Ilove you, I love you to baby

"The lying, the bleeding , the screaming was tearing me apart. The hatred, deceiving disaster its over now"
"Its over, its over now"
Will I ever love again, will another ever love me again, I miss her.

Peer Reviews 2-1-11

Hey Professor Patel and Peers. I mistakenly reviewed last weeks postings a week early so today I am going back to review week 1 writings that I should have done last week. This should cover both just in the wrong order, hope that makes sense to you all.

Alyssa Brown
I think your description of the studio was very well written. The descriptions of the heat and especially the smells really transported me to the place and time. Your description and interest of the tiny girl was beautiful. Beautiful not only for the portrayal of her but for the glimpse of you and your character. In your MaryLane piece I feel(with my very limited knowledge) the last paragraph could flow a little more smoothly with a  little revision. Could possibly be made into two paragraphs each with a different subject, 1 her personality and 2 her sugar addiction. Very nice description overall though, it provided a lot of insight into a short piece.

Jesus Corona
Loved prompt 3 and your style in general. Everything is bopping along and the you throw in that hit of sadness or maby just realism. The suddenness and contrast makes the short statements about sadness, loneliness, and insecurity seem very large. I hope these feelings slide away in real life as quickly as they seem to in the story. I mungry, that's a truly funny and realistic exchange. "Nicole" is awesome, it makes me want to meet her and hang out with you both. You packed a lot of description into a small space, very effective. Whoa wait there was a part 2, what happened to all the cuteness, now were talking road rage and flaring nostrils. You are very good at manipulating, or evoking emotions. Your introduction is a little more staccato, and choppy. I want to complain about the transitions but I feel they are clipped intentionally kind of like Nicole part 2 so it would just be a personal preference thing not anything that needs revision, I'm pretty sure Prof Patel wouldn't approve of me asking you to make them all easier to read, make them all sweet and easy like Nicole 1. Great work man, your writing is very interesting and you obviously put good effort into it.

Lindsey Fraser
I enjoyed your intro and the obvious time and effort you put into it. The pictures definitely aid in the descriptions and the simple thoroughness of your post itself tells much about you and your attention to detail. I bet you have a very clean home and car and your dogs are well behaved, that's just the impression I get.My only observations, and I so hate to criticize but I feel that I have to pick on something to fulfill the assignment, is in the final paragraph. The sentence about applying to ASU and moving and the following sentence about Gem do not flow well. I feel with a little revision thew could read easier and better convey your point. I think it is an excellent job overall and appreciate the extent of the work involved in your post and entire blog.

Miranda Colony
"Kaileen Renee" was awesome. The description was extremely well written, informative and I feel you chose a great subject to write passionately about. I cant possibly critique "From the Beginning", I read it three times and am way to impressed by the beauty of your personality to possibly detect any grammatical or structural flaws. I hope that comment is not inappropriate, I don't mean to offend or overstep the bounds of Peer Review I was just touched by the content of your writing and want to compliment you on it. "But life is so beautiful that the nerves were continually excited regardless" , "joy rebounded" by a sidewalk crack or an ant, that is way cool.

Prompt #9 My man Charlie Sheen

He was born in 1965, the youngest son and third of four children to actor Martin Sheen and artist Janet Templeton. He began stage acting at the age of eight years and his film career began in 1984. His birth certificate reads Carlos Irwin Estevez but we all know him as Charlie Sheen. I still remember him in some of my favorite teenage movies, classics( I use the term classics loosely) such as Red Dawn, Platoon, Wall Street, Young Guns, The Rookie, Major League and Beyond the Law. In the film Working Men, he and his real life brother and co-star Emilo Estevez used a BB gun to shoot people out of their upper story apartment window. This scene inspired me to do the same out my bedroom window to the construction workers who constantly woke me early in the morning while they were building a new street full of houses directly behind my parents place. Does anyone else remember the crazy zig-zag haircut  he sported when he boldly strode on to the field to speakers blasting the song Wild Thing in the comedy Major League. I can not remember a role he has played that has not portrayed him as a wild, smartass, hard drinking and or hard drugging guy with a voracious sexual appetite. His current role as Uncle Charlie in the sitcom Two and a Half Men is based on and would not be as effective without his lifelong cultivation of a bad boy image.
The   man currently earns $1.8 million dollars for each half hour episode of Two and a Half Men making him the highest paid TV actor of all time. Why does he make so much money? Quite possibly because of his hard work in creating this bad boy image. My man Chuck ( He told me I could call him Chuck during one Hunter Thompson type weekend we spent on the beach in Belize) is such a professional, so dedicated to his work, his career, his ART that he has spent 45 years, his entire lifetime in role research. He told me that with the high number of perverts, alcohol abusers, and recreational drug users in this country today he feels that if he does not fully get into his character, do the research and actually live his character, that there is no way he could possibly pull off a believable portrayal of the image the producers and directors demand of him. The man gives it all, every 3-10 days when he lays down to sleep he knows that  he has left everything out there, he has pushed it to the limit and beyond for us, his loyal and delighted fans. The man has had at least two long term relationships with female porn stars. Not just porn actresses but full blown career type Porn Stars. Easy, I think not. Again he did this not for his own personal pleasure but as part of his never ending quest to more accurately portray his bad boy image, he did this, again, for us the fans.
All of this professionalism, all of this dedication has not come without its price though. While millions clamor for Chucks particular brand of art, there are a few out there who do not see all the hard work he has put in, a few who do not see the big picture, a few who cannot see through the little episodes that naturally come along with this kind or workaholicism. A few who wish not to give the man accolades but would rather give the man time behind bars. My friend has been forced into multiple detox and drug rehabilitation programs. He has been jailed for crimes such as felony menacing, assault, criminal mischief , domestic violence and DUI. All of these crimes Chuck has also committed on various episodes of Two and a Half Men, the prime time sitcom that he is paid the $1.8 mil for, the show that delights millions and sells billions of dollars worth of advertising space every year. These same behaviors on film have earned the man three Emmy Award nominations, and two Golden Globe Award nominations.
These hijinks's have made Charlie Sheen a household name, almost as well recognized around the world as Coca-cola. The women love him, the men want to be him and the judges, well they just want to judge him.
I propose amnesty for my pal Carlos Irwin Estevez. I propose not just amnesty but possibly a declaration of a national, no worldwide holiday celebrating the hard work, the selfless dedication of this truly unique and gifted artist. I propose that we set up a mandatory course in all english speaking high schools that are based around my friends life, a course that will teach the lazy, undisciplined kids of today what it takes to succeed in the highly competitive world that we have created. I propose...what,whats that Chuck. Sorry Chuck needs someone to roll him a joint, his hands are to shaky, I got to go.

Prompt #6 captured man

How could the missus say those things about me? Not one day since the Man bought me have I spoke my mind out loud. Not one time have I made that bitch wait for her hot water, for her cold water, for her fire to warm the room. I carry that water, carry that firewood, clean that woodstove, chop that wood, pump that water, keep that slime from growing in my buckets, keep my chop axe sharp. Keep my suit clean so as not to embarrass her if her uppity fat ass friends catch site of me. I clean my shoes before I come in the house so as not to dirty her precious rugs. I use that lotion she gave me to keep my hands and fingers soft even though I still have to do hard labor. I trim my callouses and file my nails so as not to catch them on her fine silk undies. I brush my teeth with that funny smelling paste she gave me and always keep my little man clean so she can do that thing with her mouth like she likes to sometimes. I aint never told her her dirty place stank, ain't never told her she need to brush her stinky gin smellin mouth or wash out some of those creases and folds on her pasty body that get to stinkin on the hot days. I aint never tole her my tongue gets tired and it hurts my neck sometimes trying to make her moan. I aint never complain that I have to do all my regular chores and keep that bitch happy in that dirty way too. Oh you such a fine young buck she say, oh I aint never seen one that big she say, slip out the back stair so nobody see you leaving she say, and next time you better last a little longer she say.
I miss my sweet Sinay, I hope she bein treated better wherever she is than we be here on this white mans farm. I hope she remember me and know that its memories of her and her wet love is the only thing get me through those long afternoons in that pale bitches room.
And that bitch said that about me? I aint never show her no  disrespect. I aint never tell her nothin but yes mam, oh you get me so hot mam oh you so pretty mam, that fat white bitch. I make her moan 4, 5 times a day sometimes, what more she want. Marcus say he never make her moan more than twice, that probably why she have him sent to field work. That poor boy, he get a taste of the Mans whip every other day, that poor boy big but he simple in the mind um-hm. What I worried bout him for I'm the one standing here on this barrel with this rope around my neck. How that bitch gonna say that about me? I guess she found somebody make her moan 10 times. Aint that about a bitch.