Peer Review 4-5-11

Jamie

I enjoyed your use of Santa Clause as a subject for A Christmas Story, very creative and well written. I love the way this is written, the method of using questions to introduce a subject and then answering them. I’m pretty sure I have complimented you on this before but it works well and is very effective. What was also very effective was your use of quoting another person in “Learning by Doing”. This was another quality piece, you were able to relate your experience and imply your questions about the job primarily using dialogue from another person. The only thing I might suggest (and this is because I must suggest something) is that you expand the Learning piece a little more. Possibly tell how the position turned out for you, maybe include a situation where your training came back to help you further in the future. Hell I don’t know, great job.

Kayla

“Borrowed passion” was a very powerful piece. Your use of another’s words to convey a story was very effective and worked well for this writing. You took me on a journey with this writing and also explained why you are such a better writer than I, you’re like a professional and stuffJ And “Memory Cognition Expert” was awesome. If this is not at least a semi-true story you have one heck of an imagination. I cannot find a thing to suggest to improve your writing, I know it is my job as a peer to make suggestions that might help but in my opinion your writing is flawless.

Kimberly

Wow prompt 34, you obviously type better than I do and don’t sit down to do your writing at 9 o’clock on the day its dueJ I liked the way you took the time to give a detailed explanation and intro into the interview before you jump right in. In prompt 37 I again really like your use of pictures to supplement your writing. You conveyed your position on the women’s rights issue very well by subtly inserting your opinions without actually saying them. This is a very …..what’s the word..important piece of writing? You put into words a vague idea that I ponder sometimes and I very much enjoyed reading what you had to write about it. This writing stirs emotion and calls readers to action while at the same time giving a feeling of hopelessness. My suggestions to you and your writing? Keep up the great work; your passion for your subjects definitely shines through.