Jamie
“Injustice” was a very good writing with a great subject. You did a good job of describing the scene and I felt the frustration of the observer and the young man. My only advice would be to possibly play up the discrimination angle a little more. Not that the kid was black but that he was targeted. You used some narration and sarcasm to achieve this well but I feel it could be played up a little more to evoke more emotion in the reader. No complaints at all about “Differences” you did a great job with the writing and with following the prompt instructions about keeping yourself out of the story. Nice job and entertaining as well.
Kayla
“Invisible Gag” was a very powerful writing. The spacing was effective to separate the separate characters. Sad subject but great writing. “Pure Intelligence” was great for the effective writing style and the subject matter. Once again I cannot find anything to suggest to improve on in your writing, and I’m not just being lazy you are really good. I think you are out of my league and I thoroughly enjoy your stories.
Kimberly
That is awesome, I was thinking about peer reviews last week after I submitted them and I finally came up with a complaint about yours, they are too damn long! I am just kidding of course (you seem like the type of person who would not be offended by a little razzing). And the first thing I read this week is an apology up front that this is going to be a long writing! Long but well worth the time, both of your pieces last week were incredibly well written. You choose subjects that you know about and seem to be passionate about and it works well. Y you use excellent descriptions and adjectives (I think that’s what they are called) and I enjoy reading everything you write. What to complain about? I don’t know, and I mean that I’m not just taking the easy way out. Maybe break the mold and write about something a little lighter, put in some humor, I know you have used humor in the past but I’m thinking about a whole piece that is just silly or off the wall, just something different from your usual style. Wait a minute comics and star trek ARE sillyJ Just kidding again of course, PLEASE don’t be offended. Great job last week
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