Peer Reviews

Lindsay Fraser
Maybe I am just uneducated about writing styles and criticisizing others writing styles, though I have thoroughly read chapter 7 in the book, but I couldnt find anything to complain about or that needed further explination. Your description in  Cold Grey-stoned benches really painted an excellent picture of what one might experience in that particular place and your use of humor and sarcasm in The Unexpected really conveyed the development of your relationship. Both pieces did an excellent job of conveying feeling and I think your writing is very effective and entertaining.

Jesus Corona
Ha Ha  I love your use of humor and then the gut shot in your prompt #5 writing. Lifes second lesson as seen through the eyes of an infant we will all die alone has left me pondering at what age I figrued out that little truism.
And the oposing viewpoints and contradiction of your POV and his, translated from baby babbling of course, leads to deeper reflection into what in life is really truth and what is the truth distorted by our frame of reference.  Your prompt#7 writing was a little harder to follow due to its broken, train of thought type format and during my first reading was a little hard to follow. When I reread it to be able to further explain my difficulties though it seemed to flow alot better because i was familiar with the story. So I cant really say why it didnt seem to flow so well the first time. My biggest complaint, they both made me sad at the end.

Miranda Colony
I enjoyed your terror child piece. It brought up a good picture of a childs feelings towards the "woman my Dad lives with" and the part about her touching the meat with her witch fingers and the porosity of the plastic was great. I felt the transitions between the paragraphs could use a little honing, i could definitely follow the story but it seems to my simple mind that it could flow just a little more smoothly with a small amount of revision. The line about Ms. Kathy kind of threw me a little also because I kept expecting to hear more about her. I wonder if that line needs to be included in the story even though it made me chuckle.

Alyssa Brown
I love the funny involved in your story of the boys trying to sell your room. The descriptions really transported me to and described the imposibility of the situation and gives insight into some of the torment you must have experienced from your brothers as a child. Nice job also of telling the story from your fathers POV and hinting at the end that you made them pay for all their stunts. The Kitchen story was a little more broken and the sentences seemed to be kind of chopped. I felt the story could flow a little better with a little revision.